HERE IS HOWARD STERN AND ME AT BRENTANO'S BOOK STORE IN MANHATTAN, NEW YORK...
I WAS AT THE HOWARD STERN SHOW ON WEDNESDAY JULY 30TH, 2008 AFTER 7AM AS ONE OF 5 FINALIST OF A SONG PARODY CONTEST ABOUT "BABA BOOEY." MY PARODY IS CALLED, "Grab my .... at the Ball Park." THIS LATEST PARODY IS AGAIN X-RATED, BRUTAL AND WILD JUST LIKE MY ROBIN'S PARODY, WHICH WON ME 1ST PLACE, A JETSKI, A FEW YEARS AGO. IT'S ALL IN THE NAME OF COMEDY. THIS WILL BE MY 3RD TIME IN PERSON AT THE SHOW. MY WEBSITE'S LINK IS POSTED AT HOWARDSTERN.COM ON JULY 30, 2008 ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE CONTEST'S PHOTOS. THANKS!!! VERY FLATTERING! THE 4TH PHOTO BELOW THAT SAYS "Click to see my teeth move" IS THE OBJECT OF THIS LATEST PARODY CONTEST...
PHOTO BELOW WAS TAKEN AT THE HOWARDSTERN SHOW "BABABUI" CONTEST ON JULY 30-2008 AT THE RADIO/TV STATION. WE WERE THE 5 FINALISTS. THE 2 GIRLS WERE MODELS SENT BY BECKS BEER TO PRESENT THE CHECK TO THE WINNER IN BLACK NEXT TO THE BLONDE MODEL...
THIS PHOTO BELOW THAT IS STRAIGHT FROM HOWARDTERN.COM FROM TODAY 8-1-08 REFLECTING A FANTASTIC WEEK THAT INCLUDED GOVERNOR JESSY VENTURA, HULK HOGAN, RAPER UNCLE LUKE, OWNER OF SIRIUS-XM MEL KARMAZIN AND THE BABABUI CONTEST WITH HAMHANDS BILL, ME!!! I CANT BELIEVE I'M ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE HOWARD STERN WEBSITE AGAIN!!! BUT IF YOU GO TO Howardstern.com AND CLICK 8-1-2008 YOU CAN READ THE INFO ABOUT US AT THE CONTEST. THE PHOTO BELOW IS NO LONGER THERE. LUCKY ME THAT I MADE A COPY BEFORE IT VANISHED. I'M SO FLATTERED...
THE PHOTO BELOW WAS TAKEN AFTER WE LEFT THE GREEN ROOM OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW AND YOU CAN READ THE INFO CLICKING ON IT AND GOING TO THE DATES OF JULY 30-2008 AND ALSO AUGUST 1-2008, WHICH WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF 8-1-08 AND ALL THESE CAN BE ACCESS ANY DAY AND IT EVEN GOES BACK A FEW YEARS. AT Howardstern.com you can access photos and info of shows dating up to about 4 years back. IT'S MY 4TH TIME THAT I'M SHOWN ON THEIR WEBSITE AND 3RD TIME THAT LIVE ON THE SHOW. MY NEW GREEK FRIENDS WERE GREAT AND VERY NICE...
AFTER THE WINNER WAS PICKED THEY TOOK PHOTOS OF US THE FINALISTS. THESE PHOTO of me ALONE YOU SEE IT AT Howardstern.com on 7-30-2008...
HOWARD STERN SAID ON TH SHOW WHILE HE SPOKE TO ME, "HE LOOKS LIKE A CRIPPLE ALI-G." I FOUND A PHOTO OF ALI-G ON THE NET. YOU BE THE JUDGE...
BELOW IS BABABUI AND ME AT THE AFTER PARTY IN MANHATTAN LATER THAT EVENING. WE THE 5 FINALISTS WERE THE, MANY GIRLS WERE ALSO THERE TOGETHER WITH MANY OTHER FANS OF THE SHOW TAKING PICTURES WITH US...
THOSE GIRLS BELOW ALSO JOINED US AT THE AFTER PARTY WITH BABABUI. MORE PHOTOS WILL COME SOON...
CLICK PHOTO BELOW TO SEE HIS MOUTH MOVING ON 4 FUNNY BABABUI ANIMATED PHOTOS!!! A NEW PAGE WILL OPEN. THAT'S THE PRODUCER OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW(GARY DELL'ABATE). GARY, "I LOVE YOU LIKE A BRO AND DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL." I KNOW YOU HEARD A THOUSAND OTHER PARODIES ABOUT YOU AND YOU ARE OK WITH IT, BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU ANYWAY. I SAW BABABUI OUTSIDE AND TOLD HIM NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONAL. HE, 'IS COOL. DONT WORRY."
CLOSE THE NEW PAGE AFTER YOU SEE THE 4 GARY PHOTOS!!! THANKS TO "MEMO" FOR THE 4 BABABUI PHOTOS!
CLICK PHOTO BELOW TO SEE HIS MOUTH MOVING ON 4 FUNNY BABABUI ANIMATED PHOTOS!!! A NEW PAGE WILL OPEN. THAT'S THE PRODUCER OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW(GARY DELL'ABATE). GARY, "I LOVE YOU LIKE A BRO AND DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL." I KNOW YOU HEARD A THOUSAND OTHER PARODIES ABOUT YOU AND YOU ARE OK WITH IT, BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU ANYWAY. CLOSE THE NEW PAGE AFTER YOU SEE THE 4 GARY PHOTOS!!! THANKS TO "MEMO" FOR THE 4 BABABUI PHOTOS!
READ THIS ENTIRE PAGE SO YOU UNDERSTAND! ENJOY THE ANIMATIONS I ADDED. SOME REPEAT. I'LL GET NEW ONES...
THE 1ST PHOTO OF THIS PAGE OF ME WITH WITH HOWARD STERN: I'M 6'1" AND HOWARD IS 6'5", BUT I'M SITTING DOWN. THAT'S WHY I LOOK MUCH SHORTER. ANYWAY, THAT'S HOWARD STERN AND ME INSIDE THE 'BRENTANOS' BOOK STORE ON THE DAY HE PROMOTED HIS BOOK 'MISS AMERICA' ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE I WON THE CONTEST. THEY HAD TO CLOSE DOWN A FEW STREETS THAT DAY. THERE WERE OVER 20,000 PEOPLE THERE TRYING TO GET IN, BUY HIS BOOK ,MEET HIM AND GET HIS AUTOGRAPH. Read this whole 1st page so you get an idea!!! I'LL UPDATE IT SOON AND ADD STUFF. MY ASSOCIATION WITH THE HOWARD STERN SHOW STARTED WITH MY SONG PARODY WINNING A CONTEST COMPETING AGAINST THOUSANDS OF OTHER NUTS. THE SONG HAD TO BE ABOUT ROBIN AND EVERYTHING WAS ALLOWED.
SO, PLEASE CLEAR YOUR HEAD, OPEN YOUR MIND AND UNDERSTAND PARODY/COMEDY AND DONT BE OFFENDED, OK??? OF COURSE I DON'T THINK ABUSE OF ANY KIND IS FUNNY AND OF COURSE I DON'T CONDONE IT. ANY PERSON WHO ABUSES ANYBODY IN ANY WAY MUST BE PUNISHED!!! I HAVE LOTS OF RESPECT AND LOVE FOR WOMEN AND EVERYBODY IN GENERAL. I SAID THIS ON THE 1ST DAY I WENT TO THE SHOW BECAUSE THEY FOUND MY PARODY SO CRAZY THAT THEY WONDERED IF I WAS A NUT. I'M NO CREEP, BUT WHEN I WANT TO, MY DIRTY CREATIVE IMAGINATION CAN RUN FAST AND FAR TO CREATE THE TYPE OF CRAZY/DIRTY PARODY THAT I THINK MIGHT MAKE THE STERN SHOW NUTS LAUGH. Remember the 2008 movie with Carmen Electra 'Meet The Spartans?" That movie, which I rented from the library free, shows a dog biting off a guy's nuts. It shows a young boy getting punched and smaked around, shot, etc. In the name of comedy/parody is fine! BLESS ROBIN FOR HER SENSE OF HUMOR AND FOR TELLING THE WORLD WHAT HAPPENED TO HER AS A CHILD, WHICH IS ALL IN HER BOOK "QUIVERS ALIVE" SHOWN BELOW. SHE'S A FIGHTER AND OVERCAME IT ALL!!!!!
THANK YOU ALL MY FANS FOR WRITING ME AND ENJOYING MY 2 CRAZY VERSIONS OF MY 'Ham Hands' PARODY. I SENT HOWARD 4 NEW SONG PARODIES FOR THE BABABUI CONTEST.ON THURSDAY JULY 17/2008 HOWARD STERN ANNOUNCED THE PRELIMINARY FINALISTS AND MY SONG "GRAB MY C... AT THE BALL PARK" IS IN!!! Well, I'm ONE OF THE 5 FINALISTS AND WEDNESDAY 30TH/2008 I'LL BE AT THE SHOW AT 7AM. THERE'LL ALSO BE AN AFTER PARTY AT 6:30PM SPONSORED BY BECKS BEER!!! SEE ME AT http://HowardStern.com clicking on JULY 30, 2008 & AUGUST 1ST 2008. I'M ALSO ON MAY 23/2007 when I went in person & I'm also on the page of MAY 9TH/2007, BUT ON THE SECTION, 'ORIGINAL SONG WRITER." They refer to me as Billy. CLICK MY PHOTO AT EACH PAGE THERE! I CALLED THE SHOW ON 5-9/07, but the audio of the parody I sent fell and I got trashed for, which is ok and part of the honesty of the show. I THINK IS MY 4TH TIME ON THEIR PAGES, WHICH IS ALL THERE FOR ANYBODY TO SEE ANY DAY. ON MONDAY JULY 21, 2008 HOWARD STERN NAMED THE 5 FINALISTS. I'M AGAIN INCLUDED WITHIN THE 5 FINALISTS. THE 1ST TIME I WON WAS YEARS AGO. WHO KNOWS THIS TIME BECAUSE THERE ARE 4 OTHER GOOD ONES!!! WELL, THE BEST ONE WON. CLOSE THE NEW WINDOW THAT OPENS WHEN YOU CLICK A LINK ONCE YOU FINISH LOOKING!
HERE'S WHAT ELSE HOWARD STERN SAID ABOUT ME WHEN HE FIRST HEARD MY PARODY YEARS AGO, "This guy is a Genius." "I want to meet this guy. I don't care if he wins or not. I just want to meet him." ... "This guy rocks!" ... "I see myself cracking up with this guy. When he says PJ's. I love that." ... "Is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life."
I WON THE CONTEST A FEW YEARS AGO AND HAVE BEEN AT THE SHOW TWICE IN PERSON LIVE AND ALSO SEVERAL TIMES ON THE PHONE. THEY REPLAY MY SONGS ONCE IN A WHILE. I'M WAITING TO SEE MYSELF ON "HOWARD TV" UNCENSORED!!! MOST THINGS HEARD ON HOWARD STERN'S SIRIUS RADIO SHOW (100s of HOURS AVAILABLE A MONTH) FOR ONLY $9.95 ARE ALSO RECORDED BY NUMEROUS ROBOTIC CAMERAS IN THE RADIO STATION AND SOON AFTER SEEN ON CABLE ON "THE HOWARD STERN CHANNEL." IS FUN TO BE PART OF THE HISTORY OF THE HOWARD STERN RADIO/TV SHOWS AND TO BE KNOWN AND LIKED BY THE SHOW AND FANS.
PHOTO ABOVE: THAT'S HOWARD STERN, ROBIN AND ME ON THE HALL OF 92.3 FM K-ROCK RADIO STATION ON THE DAY I DID MY PARODY LIVE AND GOT MY 1ST PLACE PRIZE, THE JETSKI. THIS PHOTO WAS YEARS BEFORE THEY ALL MOVED TO THEIR NEW HOME OF UNCENSORED SATELLITE RADIO, "SIRIUS" (1221 AVE. OF LAS AMERICAS - 49TH ST.) NO WORD THERE IS EVER BLEEPED. THAT'S THE FREEDOM OF SATELLITE RADIO BECAUSE IS A PAID SERVICE JUST LIKE HBO, SHOWTIME, ETC.
HOWARD STERN ALSO SAID ABOUT MY "Ham Hands" PARODY years ago, "This is the one I've always felt is going to win..." ... "This guy is pretty wild." ... "This guy is out of his mind." ... "This guy is great!" ... "His song is so brilliant!" ... "This guy is really well thought out." ...
PHOTO ABOVE: ROBIN (SHOW'S CO-HOST) SAT ON MY LAP THE 1ST TIME I WAS AT THE SHOW FOR A QUICK PHOTO. RALPH (HOWARD's STYLIST) ASKED AND ENCOURAGED HER TO SIT ON ME. I SAID YES, OF COURSE.
HOWARD STERN TOLD ME, "You are a very funny man. Is the funniest thing I heard in a long time. Good job! I think is the most incredible song. Thank you for writing this brilliant song that will live in show history. Nice meeting you. You are a good man. I like you. That's the great Bill."
PHOTO BELOW IS ROBIN WITH ME RIGHT AFTER MY SEGMENT AT THE HOWARD STERN SHOW ON 5-23-2007(SEE IT AT HOWARDSTERN.COM ANY TIME). READ ALL HOWARD STERN QUOTES ABOUT ME FROM MY 1ST APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW ON PAGE 8 HERE. ITS ALL WORD BY WORD FROM MY RECORDED TAPES OF THE SHOW ON THAT DAY, WHICH I STILL HAVE!!! ON PAGE 4 I'M WITH JOEY BUTTAFUOCO AT THE SHOW. ON PAGE 5 I'M ALSO WITH MARY JOE BUTTAFUOCO ON THE SHOW. ON ANOTHER PAGE HERE I'M WITH AL SHARPTON, CONGRESSMAN SERRANO, MACHO CAMACHO, SAL, RICHARD, ARTIE, ETC...
MY NICKNAME "HAM HANDS BILL" IS 100% RELATED TO MY PARODY, BUT THE TERM 'HAM HANDS' CAME OUT OF ROBIN's MOUTH YEARS AGO AT THE SHOW WHEN SHE REFERRED TO HER ABUSIVE FATHER's HANDS AS 'HAM HANDS.' MY SONG PARODY's NAME IS HAM HANDS AND THEY REFER TO ME AS HAM HANDS. SO, I EMBRACE IT. LAST YEAR, THE NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO THE SHOW IN MAY I WENT TO BED AT 2AM BECAUSE I WAS MAKING THIS PAGE SO I HAD SOMETHING FUN TO PROMOTE AND GO WITH THE FLOW OF MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME. WHEN I CALL THE SHOW I TELL THEM "IS HAM HANDS BILL." FANS KNOW ME AS HAM HANDS BILL TOO, OF COURSE.
STERN SHOW FANS ARE LIKE A BIG FAMILY. IT'S PEOPLE FROM ALL TYPES FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD NOW THAT PEOPLE EVEN LISTEN TO THE SHOW FROM THEIR COMPUTER OR SATELLITE RADIO OR WATCH THE SHOW ON CABLE($10 A MONTH TO SEE EVERYTHING FROM MON-THU THAT HAPPENS ALL YEAR AROUND), WHICH ARE THE SAME CRAZY/FUN/INTERESTNG THINGS YOU HEAR LIVE ON RADIO, BUT WITH THE ACTUAL VISUAL AS IT HAPPENS. SOME JUST LISTEN ON YOUTUBE. THERE ARE 100'S OF FREE HOURS TO LISTEN TO. SOMEONE WHO NEVER HEARD HOWARD ON RADIO OR SEEN HIS SHOW ON TV/CABLE FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS CAN'T REALLY KNOW WHO HE'S OR HOW HE'S.THE CRAZY HOWARD ON RADIO ISNT THE SAME GUY IN HIS PRIVATE LIFE. HE'S A FAMILY MAN, A DAD AND HE HAS ALWAYS SHIELDED HIS KIDS FROM THE CRAZYNESS OF THE SHOW.
Who is Howard Stern? Grew up in Long Island with his sister and parents. Was teased and bullied and beaten by classmates. His father was a radio engineer in Manhattan where once in a while he took his 5-7 year old son Howard. Howard wanted to be a DJ and after graduated High School convinced his father to help him go to Boston University. Howard Graduated Magna Cumlaude from The University of Boston with a degree in communications and Was married and living with his College Sweetheart for over 20 years who he never cheated on and who gave him 3 daughters(all A students, but 2 of them black belts). Howard became a brown belt in Karate.Because of his unique and innovative sytle and the risks he took on freedom of speech, his beliefs and taking a stand against oppressive management Howard was fined and fired a few times. His salary went from $85 a week during late 70's to $100 millions a year! Millions love him and many hate him too, but he shouldn't be judged on his "on air persona." He is one of the guys with the highest family/morality values around. #1 Radio guy in the world. His departure from FM radio on 12-16-2005 caused 2/3 lost earnings for the radio station he left. 92.3 K-Rock earned over 30 millions a year when Howard was there for ovwe 20 years. Howard was paid 20 millions a year at K-Rock. The censorship was too much and that's why he started on SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO ON 1-9-2006 with a 5 year contract of $500 millions. WATCH HIS MOVIE, "Private Parts." IT SHOWS FROM WHEN HOWARD WAS 5 YEARS OLD UNTIL HIS NBC YEARS! SO GREAT! SHOWS HIS WILD SIDE AS WELL AS HIS FAMILY SIDE, ETC.
<-CLICK THE LIPS ON THE LEFT TO SEE THE FIANCE OF HOWARD STERN,"THE KING OF ALL MEDIA." AFTER 8 YEARS OF LIVING TOGETHER AND BOTH EARNING GOOD MONEY THEY'LL GET MARRIED THIS YEAR. HIS EX-WIFE AND HIS NEW FIANCE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON THAT HE LOVES. SWEET AND BLONDE!!!
WHEN I WON THE CONTEST A FEW YEARS AGO THERE WAS NO HOWARDSTERN.COM WEBSITE YET. THE PHOTO BELOW IS ME IN MY ROOM RIGHT AFTER A TRIP TO THE BEACH HERE IN NEW YORK.
ON 4-24-2008 I WAS AT SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO ON CHANNEL "HOWARD 101" AT 7:00 PM AS PART OF THE "SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE SHOW." THERE'S WHERE ONCE A WEEK THE HOWARD STERN SHOW FANS DISCUSS THE WEEK's HAPPENINGS AT THE SHOW. THE HOST OF THE 'SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE SHOW' IS MUTT, WHO IS ALSO THE OWNER AND MONITOR OF... HTTP://STERNFANNETWORK.COMCLOSE THE NEW WINDOW THAT OPENS WHEN YOU CLICK A LINK ONCE YOU FINISH LOOKING!
THANKS TO 'STEVE BRANDANO' WHO IS THE HOST OF THE INTERN SHOW ON CHANNEL HOWARD 101 ON SIRIUS. STEVE, "YOU LET ME RECITE A NUTTY POEM I DID FOR THE INTERN EMILY 2 MONTHS AGO IN MAY 2008." THANKS EMILY AND ALL THE INTERNS . KEEP THE GOOD WORK AND LETS DO THE INTERN BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTEST. I HEAR THAT THEY ARE ALL CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAY, I MADE A SONG PARODY FOR THE HOWARD STERN SHOW A FEW YEARS GO AND I WON A $6000 PRIZE(A JETSKI) BACK THEN.BACKTHEN, HOWARD STERN INVITED ME TO THE SHOW TO GET MY PRIZE, TALK, DO MY PARODY LIVE AND HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. WELL, BECAUSE REGULAR RADIO (AM-FM) DOESN'T ALLOW BAD WORDS OR INSINUATIONS, MY CRAZY PARODY WAS BANNED BY THE RADIO STATION'S GENERAL MANAGER TOM CHIPIZANO AND THE 92.3 FM KROCK LAWYERS SOON AFTER I WON (LATE 90's) BUT WE THE FANS DIDNT KNOW.
MY ORIGINAL SONG HAD NO BAD WORDS, BUT THE INSINUATIONS WERE STRONG. I THOUGHT MY SONG WAS FORGOTTEN, BUT IT WASNT. THEY WERENT ALLOWED TO PLAY MY SONG. NOW THAT HOWARD STERN IS ON SATELLITE RADIO, WHICH IS AN UNCENSORED MEDIA, EVERYTHING IS ALLOWED. IN 2007 HOWARD EXPLAINED THAT HE DIDNT MENTIONED THAT THE SONG WAS BANNED BACK THEN BECAUSE WAS A DONE DEAL AND A DOWNER TO TALK ABOUT. I HEARD HOWARD's EXPLANATION (MAY-2007) AND THATS WHEN I CALLED THE SHOW, WHICH WAS YEARS LATER AFTER MY ORIGINAL VERSION LIVE ON THE SHOW. HOWARD INVITED ME BACK TO THE SHOW ON 5-23-2007 AND I SURPRISED HIM AND EVERYBODY WITH A NEW UNCENSORED VERSION. MY GENIUS PARODY AGAIN BLEW EVERYBODY AWAY. NOW THERE ARE 2 VERSIONS OF MY SONG. THEY LOVE MORE MY UNCENSORED VERSION BECAUSE I USED VERY GRAPHIC WORDS.
HERE I AVOIDED EXPLICIT TEXT SO EVERYBODY CAN CHECK OUT MY PAGES WITHIN MY SITE HERE. NOW, LINKS GOING OUTSISIDE MY SITE MAY CONTAIN EXPLICIT STUFF!!!MY PARODY IS PLAYED ON THE SHOW IN ROTATION EVERY FEW MONTHS OR SO...
YOU CAN ALSO CLICK ON MY GUESTBOOK AND LEAVE A MESSAGE AND EMAIL. I'LL GET BACK TO YOU... MY PAGE IS 95% ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES with The King of All Media, "HOWARD STERN," Master Interviewer and $500 Millions Richer with a 5 year contract with Uncensored Sirius Satellite Radio. The show is also recorded for an On Demand "Howard TV" channel, also uncensored. So, imagine what goes on: Celebrities interviews, adult talk, comedy, Politics, games, nudity, etc. NOTHING DIFFERENT FROM THE WAY ADULTS TALK IN THE PRIVACY OF THEIR HOMES, ON THE STREET AND NO DIFFERENT FROM COMEDY CLUBS, MOVIES BECAUSE OF LOTS OF PARODIES EVEN THAT THERE IS ALSO SERIOUS TALK AND NEWS WITHIN.
Anyway, my SONG PARODY is about what ROBIN'S father did to her as a child. MANY OTHER CONTESTANTS TRIED THE SAME, BUT MINE WAS THE CRAZIEST. I ended up performing it LIVE twice in PERSON in front of HOWARD and his crew at the show!!! KEEP IN MIND THAT MY SONG ISNT SOMETHING FOR MINORS OR SERIOUS RELIGIUSPEOPLE. LISTENING TO MY SONG IS LIKE LISTENING TO A DARK R RATED CRAZY PARODY AT A COMEDY CLUB, AT THE MOVIES OR AT YOUR STATE WORSE NEIGHBORHOOD's corner. WHEN I FIRST DID IT I DIDN'T THINK OF IT AS A WINNER, BUT AT LEAST AS A FINALIST. I KNEW IT WAS GOING T BE A CRAZY ONE, BUT NOT AS BIG. Both VERSIONS GOT LOTS OF LAUGHS!!! WOW!!!!!EVEN ROBIN LAUGHS!!! SHE LAUGHS ABOUT HER OWN TRAGEDY UNDER THE RIGHT ATMOSPHERE AT THE SHOW.
LAUGHTER IS VERY POSITIVE. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO PAY BIG MONEY TO GO INTO A GROUP AND LAUGH. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. IF YOU ARE A GIRL, I MAKE YOU LAUGH FOR FREE. I'LL TICKLE YOU. JA, JA!!!! WHAT YOU EXPECTED? I'M NO COMEDIAN. I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT I CAN'T MEMORIZE THOUSANDS OF JOKES LIKE PROs DO.
SERIOUSLY, IT'S HEALTHY FOR EVERYBODY TO LAUGH ABOUT OURSELVES AND OTHERS. OF COURSE YOU WON'T LAUGH AT A FUNERAL, CHURCH NOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRAGEDY THAT IS HAPPENING AT THE MOMENT, BUT IS UNIVERSALLY THERAPEURIC TO EVENTUALLY TALK ABOUT "IT" (MEANING TRAGEDY, CHAOS, MURDERS OR WHATEVER AND EVEN ADD OR AND FIND HUMOR IN IT IF HUMOR IS ATTEMPTED.IT MAY TAKE TIME TO HEAL OR TIME TO OPEN UP, BUT IS BEST IF YOU EVENTUALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!COMEDY AT THE MOVIES, COMEDY CLUBS OR WHEREVER IS MEANT TO AROUSE LAUGHS, TO SHOCK, RELAX, AMUSE, IRRITATE AND ALL OF THE ABOVE.
YOU LAUGH IF YOU WANT TO AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE. YOU CAN USE YOUR PERSONALITY AND ANY TOOLS TO HELP OTHERS LAUGH, UNDERSTAND HUMOR, TO UNDERSTAND OPEN-MINDNESS AND TO BE OPEN-MINDED. DONT BE SHY TO LAUGH, BUT DONT BE UPTIGHT IF OTHERS DONT LAUGH OR OTHERS DON'T GET THE HUMOR YOU GET. DONT BE MAD IF OTHERS LAUGH AND YOU DONT! SOME OUT THERE CAN DISH IT, BUT CAN'T TAKE IT. I THINK I WAS AN ADVISOR IN PAST LIVES, IF THERE WERE ANY. I'M GOOD AT IT. A FEW YEARS AGO I EARNED MONEY FOR A FEW MONTHS ADVISING.
DROP ME A LINE OR 2 AT...... HAMHANDSBILL@YAHOO.COM OR GO TO... WWW.MYSPACE.COM/HAMHANDSBILLCLOSE THE NEW WINDOW THAT OPENS WHEN YOU CLICK A LINK ONCE YOU FINISH LOOKING!SOON YOU'LLSEE NEW PHOTOS THERE TOO. MY SEGMENT AT THE HOWARD STERN SHOW FROM MAY 23/2007 WILL BE SEEN ON HOWARD TV SOON. I HAVE RECORDED ALMOST EVERYTIME THAT HOWARD, ARTIE, FRED AND ROBIN HAVE IMITADED AND MENTIONED ME. IT'S FLATTERING TO HEAR OTHERS ON THE RADIO REFER TO MY SONG AND OR TO ME AS A VERY FUNNY PARODY.
THE BUTTONS ON THE LEFT JUMP FROM 2 TO 7, BUT IF YOU CLICK PAGE 2, IT SHOWS 3, 4, 5, ETC ANYWAY. SO, TO AVOID CONFUSION I PUT "PAGE #2 TO PAGE #10" ON THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF ALL PAGES . So, just click on the page number on top or bottom of each page. ALMOST ALL PAGES HAVE PHOTOS. CLICK THEM ALL.
I MADE THIS PAGE AFTER HOWARD STERN INVITED ME BACK TO THE SHOW FOR THE 2ND TIME THE NIGHT BEFORE 5-23-2007 WITH ONLY 2 HOURS OF SLEEP. SO, IT'S NOT A PERFECT SITE, BUT IS MY OWN FUN, CRAZY, UNIQUE EXPRESSION OF MY EXPERIENCE AND EXTRA STUFF TOO.
SO, I won the contest back then . Now (years later and without any censorship) Howard invited me back to do it again on 5/23/2007. He gave me my own segment!!! After we spoke for a while live on the air and Only seconds before I started my song parody was when they realized that it was going to be a new uncensored version with extra lines. What a hit!!! Everybody loved it.
Not everybody likes/understands Howard Stern's Show and at the same time not everybody who likes him likes or agrees with everything on the show. In order for you to really understand the whole thing and the humor of it you have to look at all the photos here, read my history with the show, read Howard's Transcript about my song here and more. This website is all about my Parody and my 2 appearances with HOWARD on the show. Well, I'm also here with other celebrities. I made the new uncensored version of my Robin's song parody one day before the show on 5/23/07. I was a little nervous, but I re-made it and memorized it.
Over 10,000 visited my old WWW.HAMHANDSBILL.COM page within ONE day when I had this website hosted at the old place. Thanks. Oh, the woman's photo in pigtails below is Robin and she's the object of my parody reliving the times when she was a PRE-TEEN Girl. In her book, "QUIVERS ALIVE" shown here above the pigtails photo she explained how her father abused her as a child. That's why I put her in pigtails, as part of my parody! Hey, NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT ANY PERSON GETTING ABUSED, BUT I WANTED TO BE CREATIVE and AND THE CONTEST WAS ONLY ABOUT ROBIN. Her abused was the biggest thing in her life. I KIND OF VERBALLY REANACTED HER AWFUL NIGHTS OF TERROR. The contests rules were, "It has to be ALL about Robin and Anything goes!!! REMEMBER THOSE MOVIES OF KILLING, ABUSE, TRAGEDY OR AND HUMOR? WELL, EVEN COMEDY CLUBS!!! EXACTLY! IT's all made to show what happened or just created for laughs, amusement, shock, to scare you or whatever. You'll understand. Well, is ALL explained within these pages.
See all 20+ photos of many celebrities posing with me at the show, at the beach. Also, me in The army, me exercising in my bed wearing almost nothing, but is just like looking at anybody at the beach wearing a white speedo. I'M PROUD OF KEEPING MY BODY IN SOME TYPE OF SHAPE. I'M NOT RIPPED LIKE BEFORE, BUT OK. LOOK THROUGH THE PICS AND U'LL SEE ME RIPPED MANY YEARS AGO. I'M WORKING OUT 6 DAYS A WEEK...
ROBIN IS THE OBJECT OF MY PARODY. FROM THE ROBIN'S BOOK COVER YOU SEE BELOW I TRANSFORMED ROBIN INTO A BLONDE GIRL WITH PONYTAILS BELOW THIS PHOTO AS PART OF MY PARODY AND ALSO MADE THE PHOTO OF HER IN BIKINI ON ALL 4 ALSO HERE ON ANOTHER PAGE. GRAPHIC DESIGN/DESKTOP PUBLISHING AND A LITTLE BIT OF ILLUSTRATION ARE JUST A FEW OF MY OTHER SKILLS. I'VE WORKED AS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER. I HAVE MANY TALENTS!
THIS PHOTO BELOW IS ROBIN QUIVERS' ACTUAL BOOK COVER, WHICH SHE PUBLISED EXPLAINING EVERYTHING ABOUT HER LIFE...
Now, Bad grammar is an essential part of my parody so those of you who never read my stuff or heard my parody, now you understand and know why I used such grammar!!! IN MY PARODY I DID A CHARACTER! I'M NOT ME! GET IT?
Robin, "WHERE MY HAM HAND DADDY AT?" THE PHOTO BELOW IS MY PHOTOSHOP CREATION WHERE I TOOK HER FACE FROM HER BOOK COVER AND ADDED BLONDE PONYTAILS AS PART OF MY PARODY ILLUSION...
THE PHOTO BELOW THIS IS ME ON HALLOWEEN 2007. I WENT TO WORK JUST LIKE THAT, BUT WITHOUT THE SWORD. I TAUGHT A CLASS DRESSED LIKE THAT. WAS FUN EVEN THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP IN THE WHOLE BUILDING., I THINK. I GAVE OUT CANDY TO MY STUDENTS THAT DAY. I'M A NICE GUY. WHAT CAN I SAY?
CLICK EL BOTON AMARRILLO ARRIBA A LA IZQUIERDA LLAMADO "GUESSBOOK" PARA DEJARME MENSAJE...
CLICK THE YELLOW TAB "GUESTBOOK" ON THE LEFT ON TOP TO LEAVE ME A MESSAGE...
SAME DAY I WENT TO THE SHOW LAST TIME ON 5-21-07 ANOTHER INVITED GUEST NAMED "GALADRIEL" WAS THERE WITH HER BROTHER TO PROMOTE HIS SITE. SHE AGREED TO SHOW SOME SKIN, BUT BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL IN 12TH GRADE(2 MONTHS BEFORE GRADUATION) HOWARD ONLY LET HER STRIP DOWN TO BIKINI. SHE SAID SHE WILL COME BACK ONCE GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL. SHE WAS 18 AND LEGAL, BUT STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. WELL, GO AHEAD PEOPLE. FIND HER AND TELL HER TO GO BACK TO THE SHOW!!!
WELL, WHEN AM I GOING TO FIND A NEW SWEET FRIEND FOR ME?I BLAME MYSELF BECAUSE I DON'T BOTHER GOING TO CLUBS, BARS NOR DISCOS TO MINGLE.
I DON'T DRINK/SMOKE. WELL, WHEN I DATE I ONLY DRINK WINE/SOFT DRINKS. IF I'M NOT DATING, I DRINK 1-2 GLASSES FOR CHRISTMAS AND 1-2 GLASSES FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH THE 12 GRAPES FOR GOOD LUCK, OF COURSE. I HATE BEERS. THROUGHOUT MY WHOLE LIFE I HAD ONLY 3 BEERS. I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND SOME PEOPLE WHO DRINK BEER WITH PIZZA AND EVERYTHING LIKE WATER. PEOPLE DRINKING BEER AT THE BEACH THINKING IT'S HYDRTING . ALCOHOL DEHYDRATES, BUT I UNDERSTAND THOSE DRINKING THEM BECAUSE THEY LIKE BEERS AND PREFER A BEER INSTEAD OF SODA, JUICE AND WATER. SOME SO CALLED, "REAL MEN" OUT THERE THINK THEY WOULD BE LESS OF A MAN IF THEY HAVE A SODA OR JUICE ON HAND INSTEAD OF A STUPID BEER. AT A PARTY OR WHEREVER I MAY BE I'M FINE WITH A SODA OR JUICE. TO ME A BOTTLE OF WINE FOR 2 DURING A FRIENDLY DATE SOUNDS GOOD. I LIKE CURVIER OR SKINNY THE SAME. SHE'S HOT...
THE PHOTO BELOW IS ME AT SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO CHANNEL HOWARD 101 ON 4-24-2008 AS A VIP GUEST OF THE 'SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE' SHOW. THE WOMAN TO MY LEFT WAS THE OTHER VIP GUESTS ON THAT DAY, TABITHA STEVENS. THE GUY IN BLACK IS THE HOST, "MUTT." THE GUY BEHIND ME IS SUPER FAN "MP Chris." THE OTHER 2 SUPER FANS WERE ALSO AT THE SHOW...
PHOTO BELOW: MUTT THE HOST, TABITHA STEVENS AND ME. SHE GRABBED MY HAND, MOVED IT FROM HER WAIST UP AND HELD IT THERE. LOOK AT MY HAND. MY NAILS ARE BLUE. SOMETHING WILD I HAVE DONE TWICE: ONCE WHEN I GOT THE SUPERMAN WATCH AND I PAINTED MY LEFT HAND'S NAILS BLACK WITH THE LETTER 'S' ON EACH NAIL AND THIS TIME BLUE LIKE MY OUTFIT JUST FOR FUN. I'M STRAIGHT AND ONLY INTO WOMEN, OF COURSE.
I SWEAR SHE TOLD ME TO GRAB HER. ASK HER! ON THE ABOVE PHOTO SHE GRABBED MY HAND AND PUT IT ON HER CHEST! ALL IN FUN. STERN FANS ARE LIKE A BIG FAMILY. I HAVE A FEW FANS TOO. ONCE YOU APPEAR ON THE SHOW A FEW TIMES YOU ARE SORT OF KNOWN, BUT IF YOU APPEAR ON THE SHOW PERFORMING AND PEOPLE LIKE YOUR STUFF, MORE PEOPLE KNOW YOU...
HERE BELOW IS AGAIN SUPER FAN "MP Chris" AND ME AT HAWAIAN TROPIC BAR AFTER THE SHOW. ONE OF THE OTHER INVITED FANS AT THE SHOW THIS DAY BOUGHT A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR ALL. I HAD ONE DRINK. THEN, THEY WENT TO ANOTHER CHEAPER BAR, BUT I HAD TO GO TO CATCH THE BUS BACK TO YONKERS AT 9:20. THANKS...
THE PHOTO BELOW WAS ON APRIL 2007. I'M STANDING UP WITH MY MOTHER AND 3 SISTERS IN MY ROOM. YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T STAND? SHAME ON YOU!!! I'M VERY CAPABLE, OF COURSE. I'M 6'1, SLIM AND ATHLETIC MY ON WAY. I EXERCISE 6 DAYS A WEEK. I LIKE TO WORKOUT AND STAY IN SHAPE. WELL, I'M NO MR. AMERICA, BUT I DO A FEW HUNDRED CRUNCHES AND PULL-UPS EACH NIGHT. MY 6 PACK ISN'T AS RIPPED AND TIGHT AS YOU SEE IN MY OTHER PHOTOS FROM BEFORE, BUT GOOD ENOUGH FOR NOW...
A SEPARATE WINDOW WILL OPEN. CLOSE IT AFTER YOU SERE VIDEO!!!
THATS ME DOING MY PULL-UPS IN MY BED AT MY APARTMENT. A SEPARATE WINDOW WILL OPEN. CLOSE IT AFTER YOU SERE VIDEO!!!
"CLICK HERE TO SEE MY STUDENTS"FROM MY JOB OR CLICK "CONTACT" BUTTON ON LEFT FOR THE SAME. CLOSE THE NEW WINDOW THAT OPENS WHEN YOU CLICK A LINK ONCE YOU FINISH LOOKING!
CLICK TO SEE MY FRIENDS AND ME MANY YEARS AGO before I was as teen and later as a young man at a big Salsa Party in San Juan with part of my main guys all of us dressed to kill. I WAS KNOWN BY 1ST NAME EULER MANY YEARS AGO IN PR. STILL AM THERE BY FRIENDS/FAMILY. BILL is MY MIDDLE NAME.
<---OR CLICK "RANGE OF PRACTICE" ON LEFT TO SEE SAME SMALLER PHOTOS OF FRIENDS AND ME MANY YEARS AGO
'RANGE OF PRACTICE', 'PHYSICAL THERAPHY' AND 'MASSAGES' PAGES ARE 3 TITLE PAGES YOU SEE LISTED ON THE LEFT SIDE THAT WERE ALREADY IN THIS WEBSITE'S BLANK TEMPLATE THAT CAN'T BE CHANGED. SO, I DECIDED TO IMPROVISE AND PLAY AROUND.
I LOVE THE MISTERY OF THE UNIVERSE IN GENERAL AND MANY TOPIC FASCINATE ME: UFO's, HIDDEN TREASURES, EVOLUTION AND MANY MORE. THE INDIANA JONES MOVIES ARE ABOUT 90% ACCURATE ACCORDING TO THE HISTORY CHANNEL WHEN THEY COMPARED HISTORYCAL FACTS WITH THE MOVIES' DIFFERENT SCENES ONE BY ONE INCLUDING THE NEW ONE ABOUT FINDING THE CRYSTAL SKULLS. SOON HERE, AS I TYPE INFO AND ADD THINGS, YOU CAN FIND CLUES TO THE WHEREABOUT OF THE MISSING CRYSTAL SKULLS(ALREADY POSTED A FEW HERE), OTHER MATERIAL OR PERSONAL TREASURES OF OTHER TYPES THAT YOU MAY NOT EVEN BE LOOKING FOR NOR EVEN KNEW EXIST, SOUL SEARCH, REWARDS OR WHATEVER. I HAVE HERE 3 PAGES TO FILL AND PLAY WITH. I BRAINSTORM AND I HAVE A GREAT IMAGINATION. MAYBE HERE WITHIN THOSE 3 STRANGE PAGES I CAN HIDE SECRET MESSAGES JUST FOR YOU THAT ONLY YOU COULD DESIFFER AND UNDERSTAND.
REMEMBER THAT AFTER MANY YEARS ONLY A FEW SKULLS HAVE BEEN FOUND. SO, I NEED TIME!!! THESE SKULLS ARE SAID TO HAVE POWERS. THE HISTORY CHANNEL REPORTED THAT THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF TOOLS ON THE CRYSTAL SKULLS THAT WERE FOUND SO FAR AND THAT THEY WERE BUILT WITHOUT TOOLS, MAYBE BY ALLIENS, ETC.
VERY STRANGE, BUT TO SEE/ACCESS THE PAGE 'MASSAGES' LISTED ON THE LEFT LIST OF TABS AND BE ABLE TO GET IN IT YOU MUST 1ST CLICK THE 'RANGE OF PRACTICE' TAB ON THE TOP LEFT. ONCE YOU CLICK THE 'RANGE OF PRACTICE' TAB YOU SEE THE 'MASSAGES' TAB APPEAR AND YOU CAN THEN CLICK ON IT AND GO IN. YOU SEE? I TOLD YOU THERE ARE AND WILL BE MANY HIDDEN CLUES HERE!!! OK, I'LL GIVE YOU A FEW CLUES.
GO TO THE 'MASSAGES' PAGE TO FIND A SURPRISE AND TO GET THE Skull's clues and other clues!!!!!SOME PIECES OF INFORMATION WITHIN MY WEBSITE MIGHT BE REPEATED BY ACCIDENT OR TO ENFORCE A POINT! KEEP IN MIND THAT I UPDATE OFTEN. IN PERSON OR AND IN WRITTING SOMETIMES I DO FIND MYSELF EXPLAINING THINGS OVER AND OVER UNTIL I GET MY POINT ACROSS. WITH MY STUDENTS I EXPLAIN UNTIL THEY GET THE CLASS. CALL ME NUTS, BUT I CARE!
Unless I'm writing an official letter I use Caps on/off. I like caps! Caps don't really mean yelling. That's a silly myth from the early days of Prodigy/Aol. The sad thing is that some people do take it as a fact and feel that if you type in caps, you are yelling to him/her. I'm not yelling because I know I'm not. So, caps=yelling is only a fact to those following/believing that nonsense. Sometmes I might type a few bad words in caps if I'm on a chat room just to make it more visible. I understand those who think/believe caps is yelling. I just wouldn't waste my time telling someone who's using caps to lower it and I won't bother to argue about it. MY OPINION? Do whatever you want and leave the others alone about nonsense like CAPS. I remember those romance chat rooms years ago and tons of guys wasting time arguing with other guys about nonsense instead of chatting with girls.
I WAS AT THE HOWARD STERN SHOW ON WEDNESDAY JULY 30TH, 2008 AFTER 7AM AS ONE OF 5 FINALIST OF A SONG PARODY CONTEST ABOUT "BABA BOOEY." MY PARODY IS CALLED, "Grab my .... at the Ball Park." THIS LATEST PARODY IS AGAIN X-RATED, BRUTAL AND WILD JUST LIKE MY ROBIN'S PARODY, WHICH WON ME 1ST PLACE, A JETSKI, A FEW YEARS AGO. IT'S ALL IN THE NAME OF COMEDY. THIS WILL BE MY 3RD TIME IN PERSON AT THE SHOW. MY WEBSITE'S LINK IS POSTED AT HOWARDSTERN.COM ON JULY 30, 2008 ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE CONTEST'S PHOTOS. THANKS!!! VERY FLATTERING! THE 4TH PHOTO BELOW THAT SAYS "Click to see my teeth move" IS THE OBJECT OF THIS LATEST PARODY CONTEST...
CLICK PHOTO BELOW TO SEE HIS MOUTH MOVING ON 4 FUNNY BABABUI ANIMATED PHOTOS!!! A NEW PAGE WILL OPEN. THAT'S THE PRODUCER OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW(GARY DELL'ABATE). GARY, "I LOVE YOU LIKE A BRO AND DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL." I KNOW YOU HEARD A THOUSAND OTHER PARODIES ABOUT YOU AND YOU ARE OK WITH IT, BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU ANYWAY. CLOSE THE NEW PAGE AFTER YOU SEE THE 4 GARY PHOTOS!!! THANKS TO "MEMO" FOR THE 4 BABABUI PHOTOS! 
READ THIS ENTIRE PAGE SO YOU UNDERSTAND! ENJOY THE ANIMATIONS I ADDED. SOME REPEAT. I'LL GET NEW ONES...
THE 1ST PHOTO OF THIS PAGE OF ME WITH WITH HOWARD STERN: I'M 6'1" AND HOWARD IS 6'5", BUT I'M SITTING DOWN. THAT'S WHY I LOOK MUCH SHORTER. ANYWAY, THAT'S HOWARD STERN AND ME INSIDE THE 'BRENTANOS' BOOK STORE ON THE DAY HE PROMOTED HIS BOOK 'MISS AMERICA' ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE I WON THE CONTEST. THEY HAD TO CLOSE DOWN A FEW STREETS THAT DAY. THERE WERE OVER 20,000 PEOPLE THERE TRYING TO GET IN, BUY HIS BOOK ,MEET HIM AND GET HIS AUTOGRAPH. Read this whole 1st page so you get an idea!!! I'LL UPDATE IT SOON AND ADD STUFF. MY ASSOCIATION WITH THE HOWARD STERN SHOW STARTED WITH MY SONG PARODY WINNING A CONTEST COMPETING AGAINST THOUSANDS OF OTHER NUTS. THE SONG HAD TO BE ABOUT ROBIN AND EVERYTHING WAS ALLOWED. 
SO, PLEASE CLEAR YOUR HEAD, OPEN YOUR MIND AND UNDERSTAND PARODY/COMEDY AND DONT BE OFFENDED, OK??? OF COURSE I DON'T THINK ABUSE OF ANY KIND IS FUNNY AND OF COURSE I DON'T CONDONE IT. ANY PERSON WHO ABUSES ANYBODY IN ANY WAY MUST BE PUNISHED!!! I HAVE LOTS OF RESPECT AND LOVE FOR WOMEN AND EVERYBODY IN GENERAL. I SAID THIS ON THE 1ST DAY I WENT TO THE SHOW BECAUSE THEY FOUND MY PARODY SO CRAZY THAT THEY WONDERED IF I WAS A NUT. I'M NO CREEP, BUT WHEN I WANT TO, MY DIRTY CREATIVE IMAGINATION CAN RUN FAST AND FAR TO CREATE THE TYPE OF CRAZY/DIRTY PARODY THAT I THINK MIGHT MAKE THE STERN SHOW NUTS LAUGH. Remember the 2008 movie with Carmen Electra 'Meet The Spartans?" That movie, which I rented from the library free, shows a dog biting off a guy's nuts. It shows a young boy getting punched and smaked around, shot, etc. In the name of comedy/parody is fine! BLESS ROBIN FOR HER SENSE OF HUMOR AND FOR TELLING THE WORLD WHAT HAPPENED TO HER AS A CHILD, WHICH IS ALL IN HER BOOK "QUIVERS ALIVE" SHOWN BELOW. SHE'S A FIGHTER AND OVERCAME IT ALL!!!!!
THANK YOU ALL MY FANS FOR WRITING ME AND ENJOYING MY 2 CRAZY VERSIONS OF MY 'Ham Hands' PARODY. I SENT HOWARD 4 NEW SONG PARODIES FOR THE BABABUI CONTEST. ON THURSDAY JULY 17/2008 HOWARD STERN ANNOUNCED THE PRELIMINARY FINALISTS AND MY SONG "GRAB MY C... AT THE BALL PARK" IS IN!!! Well, I'm ONE OF THE 5 FINALISTS AND WEDNESDAY 30TH/2008 I'LL BE AT THE SHOW AT 7AM. THERE'LL ALSO BE AN AFTER PARTY AT 6:30PM SPONSORED BY BECKS BEER!!! SEE ME AT 
HERE'S WHAT ELSE HOWARD STERN SAID ABOUT ME WHEN HE FIRST HEARD MY PARODY YEARS AGO, "This guy is a Genius." "I want to meet this guy. I don't care if he wins or not. I just want to meet him." ... "This guy rocks!" ... "I see myself cracking up with this guy. When he says PJ's. I love that." ... "Is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life."
PHOTO ABOVE: THAT'S HOWARD STERN, ROBIN AND ME ON THE HALL OF 92.3 FM K-ROCK RADIO STATION ON THE DAY I DID MY PARODY LIVE AND GOT MY 1ST PLACE PRIZE, THE JETSKI. THIS PHOTO WAS YEARS BEFORE THEY ALL MOVED TO THEIR NEW HOME OF UNCENSORED SATELLITE RADIO, "SIRIUS" (1221 AVE. OF LAS AMERICAS - 49TH ST.) NO WORD THERE IS EVER BLEEPED. THAT'S THE FREEDOM OF SATELLITE RADIO BECAUSE IS A PAID SERVICE JUST LIKE HBO, SHOWTIME, ETC.
PHOTO ABOVE: ROBIN (SHOW'S CO-HOST) SAT ON MY LAP THE 1ST TIME I WAS AT THE SHOW FOR A QUICK PHOTO. RALPH (HOWARD's STYLIST) ASKED AND ENCOURAGED HER TO SIT ON ME. I SAID YES, OF COURSE.
HOWARD STERN TOLD ME, "You are a very funny man. Is the funniest thing I heard in a long time. Good job! I think is the most incredible song. Thank you for writing this brilliant song that will live in show history. Nice meeting you. You are a good man. I like you. That's the great Bill."
PHOTO BELOW IS ROBIN WITH ME RIGHT AFTER MY SEGMENT AT THE HOWARD STERN SHOW ON 5-23-2007(SEE IT AT HOWARDSTERN.COM ANY TIME). READ ALL HOWARD STERN QUOTES ABOUT ME FROM MY 1ST APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW ON PAGE 8 HERE. ITS ALL WORD BY WORD FROM MY RECORDED TAPES OF THE SHOW ON THAT DAY, WHICH I STILL HAVE!!! ON PAGE 4 I'M WITH JOEY BUTTAFUOCO AT THE SHOW. ON PAGE 5 I'M ALSO WITH MARY JOE BUTTAFUOCO ON THE SHOW. ON ANOTHER PAGE HERE I'M WITH AL SHARPTON, CONGRESSMAN SERRANO, MACHO CAMACHO, SAL, RICHARD, ARTIE, ETC...
MY NICKNAME "HAM HANDS BILL" IS 100% RELATED TO MY PARODY, BUT THE TERM 'HAM HANDS' CAME OUT OF ROBIN's MOUTH YEARS AGO AT THE SHOW WHEN SHE REFERRED TO HER ABUSIVE FATHER's HANDS AS 'HAM HANDS.' MY SONG PARODY's NAME IS HAM HANDS AND THEY REFER TO ME AS HAM HANDS. SO, I EMBRACE IT. LAST YEAR, THE NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO THE SHOW IN MAY I WENT TO BED AT 2AM BECAUSE I WAS MAKING THIS PAGE SO I HAD SOMETHING FUN TO PROMOTE AND GO WITH THE FLOW OF MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME. WHEN I CALL THE SHOW I TELL THEM "IS HAM HANDS BILL." FANS KNOW ME AS HAM HANDS BILL TOO, OF COURSE. 
STERN SHOW FANS ARE LIKE A BIG FAMILY. IT'S PEOPLE FROM ALL TYPES FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD NOW THAT PEOPLE EVEN LISTEN TO THE SHOW FROM THEIR COMPUTER OR SATELLITE RADIO OR WATCH THE SHOW ON CABLE($10 A MONTH TO SEE EVERYTHING FROM MON-THU THAT HAPPENS ALL YEAR AROUND), WHICH ARE THE SAME CRAZY/FUN/INTERESTNG THINGS YOU HEAR LIVE ON RADIO, BUT WITH THE ACTUAL VISUAL AS IT HAPPENS. SOME JUST LISTEN ON YOUTUBE. THERE ARE 100'S OF FREE HOURS TO LISTEN TO. SOMEONE WHO NEVER HEARD HOWARD ON RADIO OR SEEN HIS SHOW ON TV/CABLE FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS CAN'T REALLY KNOW WHO HE'S OR HOW HE'S. THE CRAZY HOWARD ON RADIO ISNT THE SAME GUY IN HIS PRIVATE LIFE. HE'S A FAMILY MAN, A DAD AND HE HAS ALWAYS SHIELDED HIS KIDS FROM THE CRAZYNESS OF THE SHOW.
Who is Howard Stern? Grew up in Long Island with his sister and parents. Was teased and bullied and beaten by classmates. His father was a radio engineer in Manhattan where once in a while he took his 5-7 year old son Howard. Howard wanted to be a DJ and after graduated High School convinced his father to help him go to Boston University. Howard Graduated Magna Cumlaude from The University of Boston with a degree in communications and Was married and living with his College Sweetheart for over 20 years who he never cheated on and who gave him 3 daughters(all A students, but 2 of them black belts). Howard became a brown belt in Karate. Because of his unique and innovative sytle and the risks he took on freedom of speech, his beliefs and taking a stand against oppressive management Howard was fined and fired a few times. His salary went from $85 a week during late 70's to $100 millions a year! Millions love him and many hate him too, but he shouldn't be judged on his "on air persona." He is one of the guys with the highest family/morality values around. #1 Radio guy in the world. His departure from FM radio on 12-16-2005 caused 2/3 lost earnings for the radio station he left. 92.3 K-Rock earned over 30 millions a year when Howard was there for ovwe 20 years. Howard was paid 20 millions a year at K-Rock. The censorship was too much and that's why he started on SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO ON 1-9-2006 with a 5 year contract of $500 millions. WATCH HIS MOVIE, "Private Parts." IT SHOWS FROM WHEN HOWARD WAS 5 YEARS OLD UNTIL HIS NBC YEARS! SO GREAT! SHOWS HIS WILD SIDE AS WELL AS HIS FAMILY SIDE, ETC.
WHEN I WON THE CONTEST A FEW YEARS AGO THERE WAS NO HOWARDSTERN.COM WEBSITE YET. THE PHOTO BELOW IS ME IN MY ROOM RIGHT AFTER A TRIP TO THE BEACH HERE IN NEW YORK. 
ON 4-24-2008 I WAS AT SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO ON CHANNEL "HOWARD 101" AT 7:00 PM AS PART OF THE "SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE SHOW." THERE'S WHERE ONCE A WEEK THE HOWARD STERN SHOW FANS DISCUSS THE WEEK's HAPPENINGS AT THE SHOW. THE HOST OF THE 'SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE SHOW' IS MUTT, WHO IS ALSO THE OWNER AND MONITOR OF...
ANYWAY, I MADE A SONG PARODY FOR THE HOWARD STERN SHOW A FEW YEARS GO AND I WON A $6000 PRIZE(A JETSKI) BACK THEN. BACK THEN, HOWARD STERN INVITED ME TO THE SHOW TO GET MY PRIZE, TALK, DO MY PARODY LIVE AND HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. WELL, BECAUSE REGULAR RADIO (AM-FM) DOESN'T ALLOW BAD WORDS OR INSINUATIONS, MY CRAZY PARODY WAS BANNED BY THE RADIO STATION'S GENERAL MANAGER TOM CHIPIZANO AND THE 92.3 FM KROCK LAWYERS SOON AFTER I WON (LATE 90's) BUT WE THE FANS DIDNT KNOW. 
MY ORIGINAL SONG HAD NO BAD WORDS, BUT THE INSINUATIONS WERE STRONG. I THOUGHT MY SONG WAS FORGOTTEN, BUT IT WASNT. THEY WERENT ALLOWED TO PLAY MY SONG. NOW THAT HOWARD STERN IS ON SATELLITE RADIO, WHICH IS AN UNCENSORED MEDIA, EVERYTHING IS ALLOWED. IN 2007 HOWARD EXPLAINED THAT HE DIDNT MENTIONED THAT THE SONG WAS BANNED BACK THEN BECAUSE WAS A DONE DEAL AND A DOWNER TO TALK ABOUT. I HEARD HOWARD's EXPLANATION (MAY-2007) AND THATS WHEN I CALLED THE SHOW, WHICH WAS YEARS LATER AFTER MY ORIGINAL VERSION LIVE ON THE SHOW. HOWARD INVITED ME BACK TO THE SHOW ON 5-23-2007 AND I SURPRISED HIM AND EVERYBODY WITH A NEW UNCENSORED VERSION. MY GENIUS PARODY AGAIN BLEW EVERYBODY AWAY. NOW THERE ARE 2 VERSIONS OF MY SONG. THEY LOVE MORE MY UNCENSORED VERSION BECAUSE I USED VERY GRAPHIC WORDS. 
HERE I AVOIDED EXPLICIT TEXT SO EVERYBODY CAN CHECK OUT MY PAGES WITHIN MY SITE HERE. NOW, LINKS GOING OUTSISIDE MY SITE MAY CONTAIN EXPLICIT STUFF!!! MY PARODY IS PLAYED ON THE SHOW IN ROTATION EVERY FEW MONTHS OR SO...
Anyway, my SONG PARODY is about what ROBIN'S father did to her as a child. MANY OTHER CONTESTANTS TRIED THE SAME, BUT MINE WAS THE CRAZIEST. I ended up performing it LIVE twice in PERSON in front of HOWARD and his crew at the show!!! KEEP IN MIND THAT MY SONG ISNT SOMETHING FOR MINORS OR SERIOUS RELIGIUSPEOPLE. LISTENING TO MY SONG IS LIKE LISTENING TO A DARK R RATED CRAZY PARODY AT A COMEDY CLUB, AT THE MOVIES OR AT YOUR STATE WORSE NEIGHBORHOOD's corner. WHEN I FIRST DID IT I DIDN'T THINK OF IT AS A WINNER, BUT AT LEAST AS A FINALIST. I KNEW IT WAS GOING T BE A CRAZY ONE, BUT NOT AS BIG. Both VERSIONS GOT LOTS OF LAUGHS!!! WOW!!!!! EVEN ROBIN LAUGHS!!! SHE LAUGHS ABOUT HER OWN TRAGEDY UNDER THE RIGHT ATMOSPHERE AT THE SHOW. 
LAUGHTER IS VERY POSITIVE. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO PAY BIG MONEY TO GO INTO A GROUP AND LAUGH. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. IF YOU ARE A GIRL, I MAKE YOU LAUGH FOR FREE. I'LL TICKLE YOU. JA, JA!!!! WHAT YOU EXPECTED? I'M NO COMEDIAN. I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT I CAN'T MEMORIZE THOUSANDS OF JOKES LIKE PROs DO. 
YOU LAUGH IF YOU WANT TO AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE. YOU CAN USE YOUR PERSONALITY AND ANY TOOLS TO HELP OTHERS LAUGH, UNDERSTAND HUMOR, TO UNDERSTAND OPEN-MINDNESS AND TO BE OPEN-MINDED. DONT BE SHY TO LAUGH, BUT DONT BE UPTIGHT IF OTHERS DONT LAUGH OR OTHERS DON'T GET THE HUMOR YOU GET. DONT BE MAD IF OTHERS LAUGH AND YOU DONT! SOME OUT THERE CAN DISH IT, BUT CAN'T TAKE IT. I THINK I WAS AN ADVISOR IN PAST LIVES, IF THERE WERE ANY. I'M GOOD AT IT. A FEW YEARS AGO I EARNED MONEY FOR A FEW MONTHS ADVISING.
THE BUTTONS ON THE LEFT JUMP FROM 2 TO 7, BUT IF YOU CLICK PAGE 2, IT SHOWS 3, 4, 5, ETC ANYWAY. SO, TO AVOID CONFUSION I PUT "PAGE #2 TO PAGE #10" ON THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF ALL PAGES . So, just click on the page number on top or bottom of each page. ALMOST ALL PAGES HAVE PHOTOS. CLICK THEM ALL. 
I MADE THIS PAGE AFTER HOWARD STERN INVITED ME BACK TO THE SHOW FOR THE 2ND TIME THE NIGHT BEFORE 5-23-2007 WITH ONLY 2 HOURS OF SLEEP. SO, IT'S NOT A PERFECT SITE, BUT IS MY OWN FUN, CRAZY, UNIQUE EXPRESSION OF MY EXPERIENCE AND EXTRA STUFF TOO.
SO, I won the contest back then . Now (years later and without any censorship) Howard invited me back to do it again on 5/23/2007. He gave me my own segment!!! After we spoke for a while live on the air and Only seconds before I started my song parody was when they realized that it was going to be a new uncensored version with extra lines. What a hit!!! Everybody loved it. 
Not everybody likes/understands Howard Stern's Show and at the same time not everybody who likes him likes or agrees with everything on the show. In order for you to really understand the whole thing and the humor of it you have to look at all the photos here, read my history with the show, read Howard's Transcript about my song here and more. This website is all about my Parody and my 2 appearances with HOWARD on the show. Well, I'm also here with other celebrities. I made the new uncensored version of my Robin's song parody one day before the show on 5/23/07. I was a little nervous, but I re-made it and memorized it. 
ROBIN IS THE OBJECT OF MY PARODY. FROM THE ROBIN'S BOOK COVER YOU SEE BELOW I TRANSFORMED ROBIN INTO A BLONDE GIRL WITH PONYTAILS BELOW THIS PHOTO AS PART OF MY PARODY AND ALSO MADE THE PHOTO OF HER IN BIKINI ON ALL 4 ALSO HERE ON ANOTHER PAGE. GRAPHIC DESIGN/DESKTOP PUBLISHING AND A LITTLE BIT OF ILLUSTRATION ARE JUST A FEW OF MY OTHER SKILLS. I'VE WORKED AS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER. I HAVE MANY TALENTS!
Now, Bad grammar is an essential part of my parody so those of you who never read my stuff or heard my parody, now you understand and know why I used such grammar!!! IN MY PARODY I DID A CHARACTER! I'M NOT ME! GET IT?
Robin, "WHERE MY HAM HAND DADDY AT?" THE PHOTO BELOW IS MY PHOTOSHOP CREATION WHERE I TOOK HER FACE FROM HER BOOK COVER AND ADDED BLONDE PONYTAILS AS PART OF MY PARODY ILLUSION...
THE PHOTO BELOW THIS IS ME ON HALLOWEEN 2007. I WENT TO WORK JUST LIKE THAT, BUT WITHOUT THE SWORD. I TAUGHT A CLASS DRESSED LIKE THAT. WAS FUN EVEN THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP IN THE WHOLE BUILDING., I THINK. I GAVE OUT CANDY TO MY STUDENTS THAT DAY. I'M A NICE GUY. WHAT CAN I SAY? 
THE PHOTO BELOW IS ME AT SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO CHANNEL HOWARD 101 ON 4-24-2008 AS A VIP GUEST OF THE 'SUPER FAN ROUND TABLE' SHOW. THE WOMAN TO MY LEFT WAS THE OTHER VIP GUESTS ON THAT DAY, TABITHA STEVENS. THE GUY IN BLACK IS THE HOST, "MUTT." THE GUY BEHIND ME IS SUPER FAN "MP Chris." THE OTHER 2 SUPER FANS WERE ALSO AT THE SHOW...
PHOTO BELOW: MUTT THE HOST, TABITHA STEVENS AND ME. SHE GRABBED MY HAND, MOVED IT FROM HER WAIST UP AND HELD IT THERE. LOOK AT MY HAND. MY NAILS ARE BLUE. SOMETHING WILD I HAVE DONE TWICE: ONCE WHEN I GOT THE SUPERMAN WATCH AND I PAINTED MY LEFT HAND'S NAILS BLACK WITH THE LETTER 'S' ON EACH NAIL AND THIS TIME BLUE LIKE MY OUTFIT JUST FOR FUN. I'M STRAIGHT AND ONLY INTO WOMEN, OF COURSE.
I LOVE THE MISTERY OF THE UNIVERSE IN GENERAL AND MANY TOPIC FASCINATE ME: UFO's, HIDDEN TREASURES, EVOLUTION AND MANY MORE. THE INDIANA JONES MOVIES ARE ABOUT 90% ACCURATE ACCORDING TO THE HISTORY CHANNEL WHEN THEY COMPARED HISTORYCAL FACTS WITH THE MOVIES' DIFFERENT SCENES ONE BY ONE INCLUDING THE NEW ONE ABOUT FINDING THE CRYSTAL SKULLS. SOON HERE, AS I TYPE INFO AND ADD THINGS, YOU CAN FIND CLUES TO THE WHEREABOUT OF THE MISSING CRYSTAL SKULLS(ALREADY POSTED A FEW HERE), OTHER MATERIAL OR PERSONAL TREASURES OF OTHER TYPES THAT YOU MAY NOT EVEN BE LOOKING FOR NOR EVEN KNEW EXIST, SOUL SEARCH, REWARDS OR WHATEVER. I HAVE HERE 3 PAGES TO FILL AND PLAY WITH. I BRAINSTORM AND I HAVE A GREAT IMAGINATION. MAYBE HERE WITHIN THOSE 3 STRANGE PAGES I CAN HIDE SECRET MESSAGES JUST FOR YOU THAT ONLY YOU COULD DESIFFER AND UNDERSTAND. 
REMEMBER THAT AFTER MANY YEARS ONLY A FEW SKULLS HAVE BEEN FOUND. SO, I NEED TIME!!! THESE SKULLS ARE SAID TO HAVE POWERS. THE HISTORY CHANNEL REPORTED THAT THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF TOOLS ON THE CRYSTAL SKULLS THAT WERE FOUND SO FAR AND THAT THEY WERE BUILT WITHOUT TOOLS, MAYBE BY ALLIENS, ETC. 
Unless I'm writing an official letter I use Caps on/off. I like caps! Caps don't really mean yelling. That's a silly myth from the early days of Prodigy/Aol. The sad thing is that some people do take it as a fact and feel that if you type in caps, you are yelling to him/her. I'm not yelling because I know I'm not. So, caps=yelling is only a fact to those following/believing that nonsense. Sometmes I might type a few bad words in caps if I'm on a chat room just to make it more visible. I understand those who think/believe caps is yelling. I just wouldn't waste my time telling someone who's using caps to lower it and I won't bother to argue about it. MY OPINION? Do whatever you want and leave the others alone about nonsense like CAPS. I remember those romance chat rooms years ago and tons of guys wasting time arguing with other guys about nonsense instead of chatting with girls.